Monday, October 31, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: Devlin's Domain - The Devils




Halloween is finally upon us! Here in Devlin's Domain I will be celebrating by talking about the true horror of religion as framed by director Ken Russell. Religion is often the enemy of Halloween, but it is also part of the appeal. If there was no light to hide from, the darkness wouldn't be so comforting. Religion has created all the evil monsters that people have been afraid of throughout the centuries. It feeds the darkest parts of the human psyche with its demonic imagery. I'm here to bite the hand that feeds.


31 Days of Halloween: Christina Reviews The Vamplets Vampire Babies


Most little girls love their tea parties and teddy bears.  They're so cute and cuddly...oh, just so adorable.  But what if you're a nerd or a geek or a Goth or just straight out not a normal?  Well then teddy bears just don't cut it.  Vampires, zombie ponies....ahhh, there's the sweet cuddly-wuddly you want.  Luckily someone thought of that.  Today I'm going to introduce you to the most adorable undead plushies you've ever seen.  The Vamplets are the simply the cutest, gore-fest cuddlies you'll ever want to squeeze.  And unlike the non-plush variety of undead you see in movies and TV,  they don’t squeeze back.

31 Days of Halloween: The Phantom Channel Listings for October 31, 2016


Welcome to the final day of 31 Days of Halloween here on Needless Things!

This month has been a lot of fun and I’ve enjoyed putting together programming over the weeks. I’ve managed to watch quite a few of the shows and movies that I’ve listed in the past four Phantom Channel posts and it’s definitely enhanced my season.

I love television. More than I should, probably. And I’m not talking about just any old shows – I don’t watch just to watch. But the format itself has fascinated me my entire life. Whether it’s weekly storytelling, game shows, sitcoms, cartoons, or talk shows I have always been interested in this never-ending source of entertainment.


Friday, October 28, 2016

Needless Things Podcast 131 – 31 Days of Halloween – The Final Chapter


Phantom Troublemaker, Beth V, Rad Ranger, and Derek Tatum talk about Halloween and spooky stuff!

Thursday, October 27, 2016

31 Days of Halloween – Hammer’s Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde (1971)



By Jerry Chandler

When one says the words “Hammer Horror” in most company, the talk frequently turns towards the classics. Dracula is almost instantly brought up with Frankenstein and the Mummy quickly following. Names like Cushing and Lee pepper every conversation, and men of a certain age- those ages being anything over the age of ten –will likely start discussing Caroline Munro in rather short order. Thank you ever so much Lamb's Navy Rum. Ingrid Pitt will also become an intense topic of discussion.

You’ll probably get mentions of things like The Curse of the Werewolf, The Reptile, and The Plague of the Zombies. Maybe you’ll get someone who brings up The Gorgon or even the Quatermass films. But it seems that in large part the casual Hammer horror fan tends to leave a large chunk of Hammer films out of their viewing habits; especially with 1970’s Hammer horror. This needs to change. Despite the long held talking point that many use when discussing 1970’s Hammer horror, they actually put out quite a few films in that decade that were enjoyably entertaining and/or interesting attempts at playing with the genre. Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde is definitely a film that fits both of those categories.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: Spooky Toy Review – WWE Zombies Undertaker from Mattel


Happy Halloween and welcome to the last spooky toy review of the season on Needless Things!

What better way to wrap up the Halloween toy reviews than with the Deadman, the Phenom, one of the all-time great wrestlers and great gimmicks, The Undertaker?

31 Days of Halloween: Vampire Hunters and Gothic Fairy Tales- Sherrilyn Kenyon and Alethea Kontis

By Christina

Every vampire story out there is the same.  They get old- no pun intended- and frankly I’m kinda over them.  Evil wants to be good, good girl falls for bad boy, forbidden love ensues followed by lots of kinky sex, etc. etc.  Only difference so far is that one sparkled.  And let’s face it…we all all wanted that one dead.  Fairy tales growing up were much the same for me.  With the exception of the Grimm versions, everything was happy ending and all the Damsels needed saving from distress.  They could have helped themselves in the time it took them to constantly scream for help; why did those brain-dead chicks never realize this?

Every once in a short while, however, someone gives you back the spooky and the beautiful.  You get the romance, sure…but it isn’t the main plot point.  You get the action, the drama, the horror, the gore, and occasionally the immortal walks away with the girl.  Sometimes you get the Fairy Tale with a great dark and Gothic twist.  A retelling or a fresh concept where the Princess doesn’t sit on her petticoats, uses her brain for a change, sacrifices and even suffers losses…and things can go dark very fast before the happy ending comes close if it even does for anyone except the villain.  Or maybe, the villain was the hero of the fable after all.  How cool is that?  A world with no Cullen in sight, I say?  A world where the Princess picks up her own sword in a world of dark and macabre fun, I say?  You want to know more, you say?  Well allow me to elaborate, my friend.  Authors Sherrilyn Kenyon and Alethea Kontis bring these concepts to life in their worlds of the Dark-Hunters and in the adventures of the Woodcutter sisters in the country of Arilland.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: Skip the Store Bought Prosthetics - by Beth

My brother manages a restaurant in Charleston, SC that turns in to a haunted house every Halloween. For the first time ever I'll be visiting at just the right time to attend. Having a background in makeup though, I've been roped in to helping out. Back in high school I played around with some theatrical makeup, but after that it was strictly beauty makeup for me. It's been years since I've done anything even close to the Freddy Krueger-esque burns he wanted me to do on their bartenders. Since I was offered a bar tab in exchange for my help I was determined to try. And to help you try to save yourselves some time and money with your Halloween costuming (makeup can make or break a costume) I thought I'd share the results. I promise to offer more than just making a good burn so there's plenty of other advice here for all your scary makeup needs.  

Monday, October 24, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: The Phantom Channel Listings for October 24, 2016


Welcome to the fourth week of 31 Days of Halloween here on Needless Things! We have all kinds of stuff in store for you guys this year, ranging from creepy to kooky to mysteriously spooky to gory and unforgettably disgusting. We’ll look at spooky toys, horror movies, and all manner of things that go bump in the night.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Thursday, October 20, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: Devlin's Domain - Troll 2



The horror genre has delivered some of the greatest films of all time, but has also delivered some painful, pathetic excuses for movies. It's these stinkers that have given the genre a bad name over the years. To think it was kicked off with classics like Nosferatu and Vampyr. Horror used to produce films with class, and then someone figured out that audiences will watch anything with gore and tits. This week I'm taking a look at one of the worst ever. It doesn't even have tits.

31 Days of Halloween – Lifeforce (1985)



By Jerry Chandler


Lifeforce is an odd film. I could just as easily write it up as an entry in my “They’re Not Bad, They’re Just Filmed That Way” series and few people would have blinked twice at its placement there. On the other hand, there’s a pretty solid following for this film, and those followers would be pretty vocal about placing the film on any sort of “So Bad it’s Good” list. I should know, I’m a part of that pretty solid following. But one thing I think everyone can agree on- whether they like the film, love the film, or hate the film -is that this film is absolutely full on excremento de murciélago crazy.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: Spooky Toy Review – WWE Zombies Triple H from Mattel


Happy Halloween and welcome to the newest spooky toy review of the season on Needless Things!

I’ve already reviewed the undead versions of Paige and Bray Wyatt. We’ve got two more to go before the end of October, and today’s review is of Zombie Triple H!


Tuesday, October 18, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: Spooky Toy Review – A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors Ultimate Freddy Krueger from NECA


Happy Halloween and welcome to the latest spooky toy review of the season on Needless Things!

Freddy Krueger is my favorite of the horror movie “slashers”. He’s the only one that had a real personality and I latched onto that when I was a kid. Also, he was using the whole supernatural gimmick before the rest and I found that much more interesting than “big, scary dude in a mask”. Don’t get me wrong – I love Jason and Michael and Leatherface and could write whole posts about how great they are, but Freddy is my guy.


It's Time to Help the Artists We Love – Shut Down the Thieves



By Jerry Chandler

Okay, this isn’t part of the Halloween specials we’re running this month, but we can sort of dress it up a bit. I’m going to use two examples of horror themed art here, a “horror fan” website, and the idea that we can give ourselves a nice treat by jamming up some jerks with a nasty trick.

Monday, October 17, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: The Phantom Channel Listings for October 17, 2016


Welcome to the third week of 31 Days of Halloween here on Needless Things! We have all kinds of stuff in store for you guys this year, ranging from creepy to kooky to mysteriously spooky to gory and unforgettably disgusting. We’ll look at spooky toys, horror movies, and all manner of things that go bump in the night.


Saturday, October 15, 2016

31 Days of Halloween – Demonoid (1981)



By Jerry Chandler


Demonoid: Messenger of Death (AKA Macabra) was meant to be writer/director Alfredo Zacarías’s horror tour de force. Unfortunately, while the film does have its loyal cult following, it came out a little more in the way of a tour de farce. The film boasts an almost clever idea, some rather pedestrian action scenes, music that would have been home on primetime television of the 1970s, silly FX, and a couple of lead actors who were probably only paying the bills at that point thanks to The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. No, seriously… Between the two of them they had nine appearances on Fantasy Island alone.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Needless Things Podcast 129 – 31 Days of Halloween – The Puckin’ Fuppet Show



Phantom Troublemaker welcomes Mr. Beau Brown and puppeteer Gavin Cummins to the show to discuss the upcoming Halloween Puckin’ Fuppet Show, taking place at the Village theater in Atlanta on October 22nd!

Thursday, October 13, 2016

31 Days of Halloween – The Horror of Sound


By Jerry Chandler

This time of year you get a lot of reviews and discussion about books and movies, but what you don’t see a lot of people talking about is audio horror. I think that’s a real shame since audio horror pulled off well can be every bit as effective as a book or a film- maybe even more so. When done well, the sounds of two characters moving through decrepit old house that they’re maybe not the only occupants of can be more effective than two pages of written word, and the visual “FX budget” of your mind is obviously far less limited than even the biggest budgeted Hollywood film. Some can be fun and safe for family listening, some can be terrifying and maybe not for younger ears.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: Spooky Toy Review – WWE Zombies Bray Wyatt from Mattel


Happy Halloween and welcome to the newest spooky toy review on Needless Things!

In last week’s review of Zombie Paige I explained how I had unloaded most of my wrestling toys but that the strangely appropriate combination of horror and wrestling in the form of the WWE Zombies line had hooked me back in.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: The 10 Best Treehouse of Horror Segments - by Beth


The Simpson's Treehouse of Horror episodes are in institution dating back to 1990. They're usually gory, and often fun parodies of horror movies and TV shows. I've enjoyed them for as long as they've been on, and even though the past few years have been a little lackluster I still look forward to them every year. As we get ready for the 16 year I thought it might be nice to take a look back at not the best episodes, but the best segments from those episodes. I went with segments rather than episodes because honestly there are some great segments hidden in otherwise not overall fantastic episodes.


Monday, October 10, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: The Phantom Channel Listings for October 10, 2016


Welcome to the second week of 31 Days of Halloween here on Needless Things! We have all kinds of stuff in store for you guys this year, ranging from creepy to kooky to mysteriously spooky to gory and unforgettably disgusting. We’ll look at spooky toys, horror movies, and all manner of things that go bump in the night.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

31 Days of Halloween – Bad Movie Beware!

By Jerry Chandler



The month of October is upon us again, and that means that Halloween is fast approaching. With Halloween comes parties, get togethers, and intimate soirees dedicated to cheap drinks, bad takeout food, and even worse movies. Yeah, this is the time of year when you’re on the lookout for the newer gems the horror genre has to offer, but where’s the fun in it if you’re not having at least some so bad they’re good (or almost good) movie showings?

Now, it’s not always easy to track down such films if you don’t have a really good friend with really bad taste in movies. Yeah, you can turn to Google, but you’ll end up with 100 search results for lists that all give you more or less the same 15 “top” bad films. Fortunately for you, me, and that strange guy down the street none of us want to talk about, there’s Fail-Flix.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Needless Things Podcast 128 – 31 Days of Halloween – The Thing Needless Commentary


Part of an ongoing series – the Needless Things Irregulars gather in the Phantom Zone to provide their own unique commentary on classic genre films!

Thursday, October 6, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: Spooky Toy Review – WWE Zombies Paige from Mattel


Happy Halloween and welcome to the first spooky toy review of the season on Needless Things!

I both love and hate toy manufacturers for the way that they keep constantly coming up with stuff that hits me in just the right spots.


31 Days of Halloween – The Twisted, Turbulent, and Terrifying story of Cannibal Holocaust



By Jerry Chandler

Okay, let’s get this one out of the way early just in case you get curious enough to track it down and give it a look. Why early? Because you might want to have time to recover from the shock and trauma of what you see before Halloween actually rolls around. Sounds extreme? Think I’m joking? I’m not. I know people who will swear this film damn near traumatized them when they saw it without being warned of the contents, and even a few who knew going in what they were in for.

When this film comes up in these situations, a friend of mine likes to tell people at convention panels he’s on that this is a film that most people who love film should see at least once if only to see one extreme of what film is capable of. I tend to throw some qualifiers on that. This is a film that anyone who loves film and the power that film can hold over the viewer should see providing that person has a strong stomach and has never been prone to having nightmares.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Comic Book Wednesday – Previews October 2016: “No Clothes!”


If you don’t know, Previews is the catalog that Diamond Comic Distributors use to offer the products they distribute to comic book stores around the country. This is where you can view and order (through your favorite Local Comic Book Shop) comic books, trade paperback collections, t-shirts, books, media, and toys and other collectibles from hundreds of different vendors that deal in geek-oriented merchandise. The genius part is that you actually have to pay for your copy of Previews for the privilege of ordering other things to pay for. It’s like the Ren Fest except without the horse poo smell.

So every month a new edition of Previews is sent out to comic book stores. Contained in the pages within are products that might be currently available or could be released anytime in the next year; but are typically about three months away. Most of this month’s offerings are scheduled to ship in December.

Now it’s time to discuss a few of the weird and/or wonderful items offered in this month’s edition!


31 Days of Halloween: Devlin's Domain - Rampage




Do you hate your boss and the job you have absolutely no passion for? Are you enraged when you go through a drive thru and find your order is wrong because some mouth breather can't perform a basic task? Do you dread making a customer service call, because you know you will  be transferred multiple times and have to give the same information to each different person only to ultimately have your call dropped and have to repeat the process? Do you wish you had a bazooka handy at 6pm so you can blow every motherfucker off the interstate, because you're already an hour late for an event thanks to people that can't drive? If so, then this movie is for you.


Tuesday, October 4, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: Cabin Fever (2016) Movie Review - by Beth

I really used to like Eli Roth though he's done little to deserve it, and almost seems to actively trying to make me dislike him with crap like Green Inferno. He's made a career off of making less enjoyable versions of the movies he grew up loving. I mean, Hostel was okay back before "torture-porn" became huge. It's still only the kind of movie I can watch once though. One viewing gives you all you're going to get out of it. Repeat watching provides no further insight. Only more gratuitous death.

Monday, October 3, 2016

31 Days of Halloween: The Phantom Channel Listings for October 3, 2016


Welcome to the first day of 31 Days of Halloween here on Needless Things! We have all kinds of stuff in store for you guys this year, ranging from creepy to kooky to mysteriously spooky to gory and unforgettably disgusting. We’ll look at spooky toys, horror movies, and all manner of things that go bump in the night.