Tuesday, December 24, 2013

My Christmas List

Sideshow Collectibles' The Dead Subject #1206
Happy Christmas Eve, Santamaniacs!

Today’s post is an exercise in sheer whimsy. Because, you know – most of what I put up here on Needless Things is so serious. 
 
I wanted to do something I haven’t done in over twenty-five years – write a list for Santa Claus. A list of all the stuff I would ask for if I were age-eligible for a visit from the jolly old elf. Looking back at 2013, I do think I made the Nice List by a decent margin, so the only question would be exactly how much of my list would end up fulfilled. I can tell you that over the past six years I have become fairly familiar with the standards of judging Naughty/Nice criteria and the main factor seems to end up involving Santa’s resources more than anything else.

So given that, I would expect to see everything on this list under that tree come tomorrow morning. If I were eligible.
 
This list is really just a compilation of stuff that I feel like I’m missing. Things that are just beyond what I consider a reasonable price, or that are too hard to find, or that just don’t make it onto the quarterly budget. And no – I don’t actually make a quarterly budget. I’m sure I would be in much better financial shape if I did. Though I’d have significantly less toys to write about.

It’s worth pointing out that all of the items on this list actually exist (except for one item that I know should exist, but I’m not sure) and can be bought as they are. I’m not doing any crazy wish list or putting costumes I’d like to have or anything on here. Some of this stuff is ridiculous and unlikely enough as it is.

  • The full range of Inhumanoids toys – I have been wanting to collect these for years. I finally made the leap and bought the rock monster thing from Billy after Dragon Con. I haven’t bought any more since then, but I plan to devote a portion of my 2014 toy budget to pursuing this line. Perhaps the portion that would have gone to Matty’s DC line.

  • NECA’s Quarter Scale Michael Keaton Batman – This isn’t all that pricey (for what it is) or even all that difficult to obtain. But I just don’t need it. It doesn’t fit in with any other superhero stuff I’ve got – though I do have all of the 18” horror figures McFarlane put out – and I don’t even know where I’d put it. But I want a Batman ’89 action figure so bad and it’s either this or the 4” version that Mattel has coming out. And I don’t trust that one to be any good.

  • Weird” Al Yankovic box set – This is one of those shitty gift requests that is made without even knowing if such a thing exists. I feel bad for parents that get these. But I want a box set of pretty much everything that Weird Al has done. Videos, too. 
     
  • The rest of the Marvel Legends Blob build-a-figure – I can’t remember off the top of my head what I need. I’ve got the torso and one leg. Maybe an arm. I’ve looked these and the figures they came with up a few times and they’re just a little bit more than I really want to pay.


  • Marvel Legends Captain Britain – I never even saw him at retail. I think he was part of that damned Wal-Mart (it was still hyphenated back then) Exclusive wave. I can’t remember a Walmart Exclusive of anything – Marvel, Star Wars, DCUC – that didn’t piss me off.

  • Marvel Legends Warbird – Ditto above. Never even saw her.

  • Marvel Legends Rogue – I would take any version of this character because I don’t have one at all. For such a popular character, she never got any kind of decent release. First was the 90s-era green and yellow costume with the leather jacket. That was packed in a box set with a bunch of other figures I already had. I saw it plenty of times, but I didn’t want to fall prey to Toy Biz’s scam. Next was an X-Treme X-Men version in the red and blue costume. There were two variants of this and both were impossible to find. I’ve seen all of these figures since – loose and in the box – and they are always priced at far more than I will pay for a single figure.

  • SDCC Exclusive Marvel Legends Uncanny X-Force set – At no point was this affordable. I guess it might have gone up on the Hasbro site for 1/1983 of a second, but I sure didn’t see it. 
     
  • SDCC Exclusive GI Joe/Transformers Shockwave set – I wanted this so badly last year and have never seen it for anything even close to a price I would pay. It’s Shockwave and Destro – two of my favorites from their respective franchises – and they are purple and green. Dammit. If my parents were buying for me, they would get the set from this year and not understand why it was wrong.

  • SDCC Exclusive Zaranas – I want the regular one and the Cold Slither one. I managed to get a regular version from the Hasbro site, but I want one to open, as well as a Cold Slither one to put on the wall.

  • SDCC Exclusive Sgt. Slaughter (mail-away version) – I have the retail version, but I never saw the one with “USA” on his chest for less than a hundred bucks.

  • Sideshow Collectibles sixth scale Creature From the Black Lagoon – This has been my white whale for a long time. It’s hard to find and if you do actually find one it costs a lot. The last time I saw one for anything even approaching a reasonable price it was $225. I look back and feel like I should have gone ahead and paid it.

  • Creature From the Black Lagoon pinball – A white whale of a whole different scale. I’ve wanted one since I was a kid, but I know full well it will never happen. But since I’m wishing, why not?

  • GI Joe Eaglehawk helicopter – This costs just a little bit more than I want to pay for it. $43 is too much for a mid-size vehicle.

  • The new Re-Action ALIEN figures – I want these SO BAD. They’re not all that pricey, but I just can’t justify buying them. I’m really trying to cut down in 2014. Of course, I say that every year.

  • The rest of the Outer Space Men figures – I bought the first four series of these and procrastinated about buying following series. Now there are enough out that it would be pricey to catch up. It’s an excellent toy line, but another that doesn’t really fit in with anything.

  • The Tenth Doctor’s TARDIS playset – I had a couple of opportunities to buy this before it became scarce and crazy expensive. Before it was just expensive, which is why I didn’t buy it. I was WRONG.
That’s probably enough. I’m sure I’ll do something like this again next year, and I’d hate to use everything up. Of course, I might not even remember that I did it this year.

May all of your Christmas wishes be fulfilled.

-Phantom

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