Saturday, March 31, 2012

Phantom Recap: Game of Thrones Season 1 - Part 3

Warning: There’s a lot of nasty talk in this article and there may even be a couple of pictures of vaginas. Certainly some breasts will show up. And I threw in a dong for the ladies. Or dudes, if that’s your thing.

Pre-emptive note: I knew this would be long, but I didn’t know how long. If I had, I would’ve started posting Tuesday. As things stand I am breaking it up into four parts and posting the final two on Saturday and Sunday; something I rarely do. There’s just no other way to get it done and I really don’t want to put up a 12,000-plus word post. And I’m pretty sure you don’t want me to.

Part 3 (Continued from yesterday)

Speaking of Tyrion, he is having a bad time. It isn’t clear how long he’s been stuck in the Sky Cell, but I wouldn’t want to spend even an hour in one. He finally convinces the guard to grant him an audience with Lysa in exchange for all of the gold he had on his person when he was arrested. “Lannisters always pay their debts” is apparently a literal saying in Westeros, as the guard complies and brings Tyrion before the crazy lady. 


She’s ready to pronounce him guilty and throw him into a big hole in the middle of the throne room, but Tyrion suggests he prove his innocence through trial by combat. This draws the expected reaction from the crowd given Tyrion’s size (have I even mentioned that Tyrion is a little person? I sure hope so). But Tyrion is wise and knows that he can choose a champion to represent him. 

Friday, March 30, 2012

Phantom Recap: Game of Thrones Season 1 - Part 2

Warning: There’s a lot of nasty talk in this article and there may even be a couple of pictures of vaginas. Certainly some breasts will show up. And I threw in a dong for the ladies. Or dudes, if that’s your thing.
 
Part 2 (Continued from yesterday)

Jon and Tyrion arrive at The Wall to discover that The Brotherhood is no longer as noble a group as it once was. It is now comprised of murderers, rapists (referred to as “rapers” throughout Game of Thrones, something that should not make me laugh but does), and thieves who had to choose between death or dismemberment and The Wall. Nobody really wants to do it anymore, so The Brotherhood has an agent – Yoren – who travels the Kingdoms looking for “recruits”. Because of this, Jon is the very best of the new recruits, but is told the only reason for this is his fortunate upbringing. Chastened, he decides to help the other recruits learn. We also learn that The Brotherhood is well aware of the increasing nefarious activity north of The Wall. 

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Phantom Recap: Game of Thrones Season 1 - Part 1

Warning: There’s a lot of nasty talk in this article and there may even be a couple of pictures of vaginas. Certainly some breasts will show up. And I threw in a dong for the ladies. Or dudes, if that’s your thing.

Preemptive note: I knew this would be long, but I didn’t know how long. If I had, I would’ve started posting Tuesday. As things stand I am breaking it up into four parts and posting the final two on Saturday and Sunday; something I rarely do. There’s just no other way to get it done and I really don’t want to put up a 12,000-plus word post. And I’m pretty sure you don’t want me to.

You can’t go to a nerd website without reading the combination of words in that title.
I’ve been seeing snippets of news about that HBO television show for a very long time now, and until last Thursday didn’t have any idea what all the hype was about. I knew the show was based on a series of books. I remember the reports on i09 about how George RR Martin’s beloved works were being adapted and how protective fans were of them. But I had no idea about the plot, what sort of world it was set in (was it Earth or a Hyperborean sort of thing? Magic and mythical creatures or more reality-based? Gods? Monsters?); and honestly I didn’t care too much. The biggest bits of news to me were the casting of Sean Bean and Lena Headey. Other than that I was in the dark.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Toy Review – “A Farewell to Arms” Ash & Deadite Ash from Evil Dead 2 By NECA

First of all, I’m covering both of these in one review because they are basically the same figure. NECA certainly could have gotten away with doing the same thing Mattel did with their Green Lantern Classics figures of NiteLik/Skallox and Medphyll/NautKei Loi. But they didn’t. Instead, they added a bunch of accessories to each figure and applied significantly differing paint schemes. The figures do use the same body except for the head, though, so I’m not going to try and wring two reviews out of them.
Believe it or not, these are the first-ever figures from Evil Dead 2. There have been plenty (more than enough if you ask some people) of figures from Army of Darkness, but it was only recently that certain licensing issues regarding the first two movies starring Ashley Williams got cleared up.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Toy Review – Masters of the Universe Classics Fearless Photog By Mattel

Fearless Photog is the first of Mattel’s Masters of the Universe 30th Anniversary figures. And pretty much the only one that makes any kind of sense as an anniversary figure.
I’m not going to bitch any more than I already have about what I went through to get this guy. Let’s get straight into the action!
Photog here actually has a history with the Masters of the Universe toy line, unlike Draego-Man, Spector, or even Sir Laser Lot. This camera-headed warrior was actually created by a young man named Nathan Bitner way back in 1986. You can and should read the whole story here.
Because I am a huge fan of X-Entertainment and weirdness in general I was super stoked about Photog. I thought he was an excellent choice for the first 30th Anniversary figure and really symbolized the relationship between the fans and the MOTU toy lines.

Monday, March 26, 2012

It's Time For WrestleMania! Yay?

Note: This was supposed to go up later, but my main PC (with all the pictures for the toy review that was supposed to go up today) has a virus. Again. It doesn't really matter, because I can't imagine anything is going to happen on RAW or SmackDown that would effect what I wrote here.
Ugh. It’s WrestleMania week and I have to write something about wrestling.
Not even a year ago that wouldn’t have been a problem. I could’ve whipped up some kind of report on the events leading up to WrestleMania. Heck, last year I spent hundreds of dollars on WrestleMania-related things because it was right here in… Atlanta, Georgia! I was still excited.
But now that enthusiasm has gone away and televised professional wrestling is more like something I feel obligated to get through than something I genuinely enjoy. I still record RAW and SmackDown every week, but I barely pay attention when I play them back. I’ll be posting articles or organizing my music or counting the tiles on the ceiling of my office. Anything but watch WWE. Blech.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Days of the Dead Atlanta Part 4: The Terrible Toys of Professor Plunder

This is it, people! The home stretch. The last official part of my Days of the Dead Atlanta 2012 recap. It’s entirely possible I’ll have the review of Dear God No! up tomorrow, but I’m not sure. I really need to bank some toy reviews, so I may not have time.
There’s not all that much to talk about for the last Day of the Dead. I’m not sure I’ll even hit 1000 words on this one. Well, I will; I’m just not sure how much I’m going to have to stretch it out.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Days of the Dead Atlanta Part 3: She Sleeps Like the Dead

Welcome back, Phantomaniacs! We’ve got two more parts of this thing plus my review of the instant classic, Dear God No! ahead, so don’t expect any toy reviews in the next few days. Also, I can’t guarantee the movie review. Right now I feel pretty good about being able to do it, but if I can’t get it finished up by tomorrow it probably isn’t going to happen. It all depends on how busy I am in the next couple of days. Also, I'm really sorry there aren't more pictures in this one. I'll do better next time.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Days of the Dead Atlanta Part 2: The Big, Red Eyes of Otis Driftwood

Pre-emptive note: I am recovering from an absolutely mad and awesome night of drinking and dancing. We celebrated Mrs. Troublemaker's birthday at the illustrious Clermont Lounge with a whole bunch of awesome people. So as I add pictures and scan this for posting, I am just not capable of good decision-making. If there are any weird misspellings or parts that just kind of wander... wait - that's just how I write. But anyway, I'm just not capable of doing even my normal half-assed editing. I hope you can forgive me.
Alright, people. I hope you’re ready for Part 2 of my recap of Days of the Dead Atlanta. Go read Part 1 now if you haven’t already. Then give yourself a few hours to recover and realize that Part 1 was 4,000 words and only covered about seven hours of time. This one is a whole fucking day.

Friday, March 16, 2012

St. Patrick’s Day Special: Top Seventeen Green Action Figures

Eight thousand years ago, the great Irish hero Patrick Flaherty O’Shaunahan chasing the Vikings out of Ireland with his magic shillelagh. After that, he ended the great potato famine by turning most of the clover in the land into potatoes. The rest he turned into four-leaf-clovers – or shamrocks – as a symbol of his promise that the Blarney Stone would always spurt beer every seventeenth day of the third month of the year. For these heroic actions, the native peoples dubbed him “Lucky the Leprechaun” and to this day produce a cereal in his honor.
To celebrate the traditions of a country that at least 93% of the white people on this planet will claim to have hailed from tomorrow night while grotesquely misquoting The Boondock Saints, I’m making a list of green toys. Please enjoy. With a green beer. Preferably Miller Lite because those Irish beers are all thick and nasty.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Days of the Dead Atlanta Part 1

Hello, everybody and welcome to my recap of From Dusk Till Con’s Days of the Dead II horror convention!
As was previously noted, I was extremely excited about Georgia’s first-ever horror convention. I used 36 hours of vacation time to be there just to be sure I didn’t miss out on what might or might not be an awesome event. I booked a hotel room for three nights. I was serious about experiencing this thing to the fullest. And I’m pretty sure I did.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Toy Review – Marvel Legends: Ghost Rider (Variant) By Hasbro

If Rob Halford, Kerry King, Dave Mustaine, and King Diamond got together and designed a superhero, this is probably what it would look like.
I wasn’t going to buy this particular Ghost Rider because I didn’t know where the heck this look came from (and still don’t – Jason Aaron’s run, maybe? I can’t seem to find anywhere that has the info) and I tend to avoid variations in general, let alone ones that I’m not even familiar with. But then I saw the standard version of this one at Toys R Us (blue flames rather than orange) and he looked
SO FUCKING METAL

Friday, March 9, 2012

Toy Review – Masters of the Universe Classics Shadow Weaver By Mattel

I didn’t even know who Shadow Weaver was when she was announced as the Club Eternia Exclusive figure last year at San Diego Comic Con. Not because she isn’t cool or anything, but because I never watched the She-Ra cartoon.
When you’re a kid gender definitions are a whole lot different. As a boy, you had better be into GI Joe and Transformers and football and “Smear the Queer” or you’re going to get beat up. And no – I don’t care if Strawberry Shortcake smells nice or even if He-Man shows up in some girl cartoon – you had better get back to throwing that baseball, sissy!
So anyway, no way was I going to watch a girl cartoon.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Days of the Dead Atlanta - Pre-Con Report

Georgia’s first-ever horror convention kicks off tonight at Jekyll & Hyde’s Sports Bar.
The actual convention takes place at the Windham Hotel in Peachtree City, but the Event Page for tonight’s party assures me that the most strangely named sports bar I have ever heard of is nearby.
I have never been to a horror convention. I love horror movies, TV shows, comics; anything with blood, gore, demons, monsters, or ghosts is right up my alley. My favorite movies are horror movies – Creature From the Black Lagoon, Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter, The Devil’s Rejects, Evil Dead 2, Hellraiser, A Nightmare On Elm Street, The Mist; the list goes on and on.
Obviously I was very excited when I first heard about – hang in there – From Dusk Till Con presents Days of the Dead 2 Atlanta. The name’s a bit unwieldy, but what’s in a name, right? All that matters is a bunch of kickass guests and events and a party atmosphere. The con was going to be responsible for the first two; I was pretty sure I could make the latter happen with a little help from the Hooligans. We know how to handle cons.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Platinum Championship... Um, Empire Wrestling 3/2/2012

Probably the most important thing that came out of last Friday night’s PCW show was that I did not drink and had almost as good a time as when I do drink.
That’s not anything to do with me, that’s all PCW.
Now, what I’m really curious to find out now is if my recall is any better. I’m sitting here writing this on Monday night (which is a pretty normal time frame for me) and have only my lousy pictures to jog my memory. I suspect things won’t be much better, if only because my picture-taking skills did not improve one little bit when I was sober.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Toy Review – Masters of the Universe Classics Fisto By Mattel

Sometimes there is a character or figure from a line that has one specific element that stands out. Something that makes what might be an otherwise pedestrian offering shine. One seemingly minor detail that grabs my attention and simply doesn’t let it go. Grabs it with a giant metal fist.
This figure has a giant metal fist and thank the gods of toydom that the personnel at Mattel back in the 80’s said, “Fuck it” and just went ahead and named him Fisto.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Toy Review – Masters of the Universe Classics Sorceress By Mattel

February presented me with one figure I was beyond stoked to be getting (and didn’t, but then I did – so his review is forthcoming) and a trifecta of figures that I didn’t dislike, but wasn’t necessarily enthused about. I’d be fine adding them to my collection, but might not have specifically desired them.
The first of those figures is the Sorceress.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Toy Review – Marvel Legends: Extremis Iron Man (Stealth Armor Variant) By Hasbro

I thought I would buy Hope and Constrictor and be done with the first series of Hasbro’s new Marvel Legends line.
I should have known better.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Billy's Toys

Years ago there used to be toys stores all over the place.
I’m not talking about Toys R Us, here. I’m talking about places devoted to and profiting from the hobby of toy collecting. Places started - as with any other business – to capitalize on something, but some also started because the proprietor had a certain love for toys. These were places where you could go and find not only the latest mass market offerings, but also toys from Previews, exclusives from specific retailers that you might not have access to, and toys imported from foreign lands.