Friday, November 30, 2012

Equal Time: 13 Questions With Quasi Mandisco of the Priority Males

I hope everybody read my excellent Q&A with Platinum Championship Wrestling’s Johnny Danger on Wednesday. It was a fun and informative read and I got a lot of positive feedback.
And then I got a call from Quasi Mandisco.
            I don’t know how he got my number, but he was not happy. Mr. Mandisco demanded to know who Johnny Danger’s agent was and how he had gotten interview time while the Males hadn’t even been contacted. When I told him that Johnny didn’t have an agent and I had just asked if he wanted to do a Q&A before his big return there was a lot of sputtering.
Mandisco told me that the Communications Act of 1934 specified that Needless Things was required to devote equal time to the Priority Males and that if I failed to provide it I would be in violation and subject to legal repercussions. Now, I’m always happy to have another day’s post accounted for and would have gladly given Mandisco his day, but once somebody starts telling me the government requires me to do something I tend to bristle a little bit. I told him I was booked up through December and really didn’t see where I could fit him in.
There was more sputtering.
Then Mr. Mandisco asked if I was planning on attending the PCW show in Porterdale, GA tomorrow night. I told him I wouldn’t miss Danger’s return for the world and he laughed and said not to be too sure about that and I might want to watch where I park. He didn’t come right out and say that Marko Polo, Steve Goins, and Ricky Nugent would find me before the show and whoop the shit out of me, but the thought did occur to me. I’m no dummy. I don’t want anybody to whoop the shit out of me.
So here today is Quasi Mandisco’s Equal Time 13 Questions With Phantom Troublemaker. I can’t say it’s being posted under protest, but certainly under mild annoyance.
U know u want it”. That’s well known as Quasi Mandisco’s tagline. It seems simple enough at first glance – he’s providing a service or entertainment; something you desire – but if you look at Mr. Mandisco’s methods and associates there is a sinister undercurrent to that phrase. It’s more than a suggestion. It’s a demand, an assurance that whatever the man is promoting at the moment is something that will be in your life.
Through sheer force of will and his vast network of “people”, Mandisco has made the Priority Males the elite group in PCW. While there’s no doubt that “Marvelous” Marko Polo, Steve “Mr. Pump Yo Brakes” Goins, and Ricky Nugent would have found their places in the professional wrestling world; Mandisco’s influence and direction has landed them on top of the PCW mountain. No other collection of entertainers has had quite the same impact as the Priority Males and a large part of that is due to Mr. Mandisco’s “U know u want it (and you’re going to get it regardless)” methods.
It could even be said that Johnny Danger owes a certain amount of his popularity to Mr. Mandisco and his questionable methods. If not for his time with the Priority Males, Danger wouldn’t be in a position to have a huge comeback tomorrow night.
But that’s enough out of me. Here’s Quasi Mandisco’s Equal Time.
1) We got Johnny Danger’s take on the Priority Males – can you fill my readers in on the origins of the group and your place with them?
A) I definitely can. Many people may not know this but I am a professional, full-time DJ. Through my many years of working the party scene, I have made many connections. I wanted to put together a group that could not only succeed in the wrestling ring but also in the entertainment world. Marko Polo has the good looks that could easily make him one of the highest paid models in the world. Ricky Nugent is such a charismatic dude that I knew he could easily make a living as a stage and screen performer. Steve "Pump Yo Brakes" Goins could always play a lovable goof or a menacing villain. Then there was Johnny Danger. There was just something about this guy. He had moxy. He had heart. I knew he could benefit from being around such influential company. He didn't win many matches but he always gave 100%. I wanted to give the guy a chance to be in the limelight. 
I arranged photoshoots, auditions, appearances and parties for the guys. They all ate it up...except for Johnny Danger. I must've been wrong about him. He always seemed out of his league.

2) What was your favorite toy when you were a kid?
A) G.I. Joe soldiers were, by far, my favorite. I would use the lunch money my parents gave me to buy new action figures. I had every figure and playset except for the aircraft carrier. no one was going to buy me a $100 toy.

3) What is one album everybody should own?
A)This might be hardest question for me to answer. I have so many albums that I love. If I have to pick one deserted island album, it would be...Sign O' The Times by Prince. It is one of the top 20 albums of all time and it has so many genres of music on the 2 disc set. Prince is the greatest musician of all time and one of the best songwriters and singers, as well.

4) Who is your favorite wrestler and why?
A) WOOOOO!!! "The Nature Boy" has everything you want in a professional wrestler. He was technically savvy in the ring, great on the mic and could work heel or face. He could put on a good match with anyone...except for Scott Steiner. Naitch took the best of wrestlers before him and influenced countless wrestlers that came after him. It gets no better.
 
5) Okay – back to business. Johnny Danger is returning to Porterdale, GA tomorrow night with vengeance on his mind and you’ve stepped up to handle him. You’re known more for your managing skills than your in-ring ability, have the Males been training you all this time or do you simply feel like Danger is a punk you can hand an ass-whooping to any time you want?
A) It is a combination of things. I have trained a bit with Polo, Nugent...and Danger. I know a few moves but even I'm not arrogant enough to say that I can go toe to toe with Johnny Danger in a wrestling match. That's why Porterdale will not see a wrestling match between myself and Johnny Danger. Porterdale is going to see a fight. Danger is tough but I am cruel and vicious. The best part of it is that I know his weaknesses. I used to gameplan matches for him that would take advantage of his strengths and hide his weaknesses. I know him. This will allow me to hurt him.

6) What would be your dream match?
A) So many. So many. Mr. Perfect vs. Dolph Ziggler. Gorgeous George vs. Ric Flair. William Regal vs. Daniel Bryan. Bret Hart vs. Kurt Angle

7) I have to ask – what’s up with the white jeans?

A) I wear the white jeans...because I can. I look good in them. Ask the ladies around ringside. They love watching me strut my stuff. I'm going to wear the white jeans on Saturday in my match. The only stains they might get on them would be Danger's blood.

8) How did you become involved with PCW?
A) I'll start by saying that I've always been a huge wrestling fan and it was always something that i wanted to get into. I have my grandfather to thank for that. WWE and TNA were starting to bore me a bit and made wish for the days of territories. I remembered reading about a company in Atlanta called Platinum Championship Wrestling so i went to check out a few shows. I was in the crowd for Fred Yehi's first match with the company and for the first appearance of We Are Three. i was hooked.

Then, I ended up in the hospital with multiple blood clots in my lungs. When the nurse told me that I could have died, it was a wakeup call. I didn't want to have any regrets later in my life so I knew I had to try to get into wrestling. I wasn't medically cleared to wrestle but talking trash doesn't require a doctor's permission. I approached Stephen Platinum and the rest is history.


9) Which actor do you feel like you could sit and watch for hours no matter what they were doing and why?
A) I could watch Samuel L. Jackson all day. He has the best use of profanity and even when he's trying to be serious, it sounds like he's talking trash.
 
10) What inspires you to do what you do?
A) The people. Everyone should have a chance to experience Mandisco before they die.
 
11) What is something you cannot wait to see or have more of?
A) Money. You can never have enough. Am I right?
 
12) Is there a movie that should never be remade and if so which one?
A) Most movies shouldn't be remade but I might start eating children if someone tries to remake Pulp Fiction.
 
13) Closer – Here’s what Danger said about you in Wednesday’s Q&A:

“As for Quasi Mandisco and the Priority Males? My prediction is....pain. Last Saturday, someone asked me if I hate Quasi. I don't hate him. I pity the fool. I pity the people of Porterdale for having to see him squeeze into those tighty whitey jeans every two weeks. I pity his dentist for what he'll have to do to put his teeth back into his mouth after I Dangerkick 'em all the way to Monster Island. There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide this time. You've hid behind "special challenge matches", you've hid behind Nina Monet, getting her to slap me when you were too scared to put your hands on me...me, I don't hide. It ain't my style, I'm not a hard man to find. I'll be the one standing on your face, while the crowd's chanting my name, with my fist raised in triumph....and you'll be the sad, broken man, with a big brown stain in the middle of his bright, white pants. But hey...at least you'll be remembered for something.”
 
What’s your response?
A) I will definitely be remembered for something. I will be remembered as the guy who finally broke Johnny Danger's spirit. There will be no more comebacks. There will be no more cheering by the fans. There will be no more stupid Godzilla pants. There will only be a broken shell of a man. All that will be left for him to do is to tell stories to little kids of how he used to be a pro wrestler. How he used to be somebody. How he used to be a Priority Male.
That’s it, folks. Tomorrow night is going to be one to remember. There are only two possible results – either Johnny Danger humiliates his former manager and severs the last of his bonds with the Priority Males, or Quasi Mandisco uses his cunning and force of will to brutalize Danger and prove he never should have left the fold. It’s going to be as mean and ugly as anything you’ve ever seen and I sure hope somebody has Danger’s back because Mr. Mandisco will certainly have the Priority Males behind him.
Tomorrow night - live in Porterdale, Georgia at The Main Event – Quasi Mandisco meets Johnny Danger in a match that will end in cheers or tears.
Regardless of which side you’re on, U know u want it.
-Phantom

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