Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Out of Office

Treasured readers and Phantomaniacs across the globe,
I'm on vacation this week. At the beach. And not some dirty, squalid, little pile of dirt in some third-world country where the local language has no translation for "personal hygiene". I'll be at a  bright, beautiful beach in the Goo O' US of A.

This is my first visit to the coast since my Lasek surgery. For the first time I'll be able to venture onto the pure, white sand without having to worry about corrective lenses - where to put them, how to keep them from getting scratched, making sure nobody sits on them. I'll be able to take in the beautiful ocean, each individual grain of sand, and thousands of pounds of cottage cheese dangling from underneath ill-fitting bikini bottoms.

Well I did say it was an American beach, didn't I?

What all of this means for Needless Things is that this is what you'll be looking at for the next week. I run this joint and it's not some big, fancy blog where I can get guest writers.

I'll be updating my Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr pages all week. I just don't have time to do anything worthy of Needless Things.

I'll be back on Monday with something special.

-Phantom

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