Warning: There’s a lot of nasty talk in this article and there may even be a couple of pictures of vaginas. Certainly some breasts will show up. And I threw in a dong for the ladies. Or dudes, if that’s your thing.
Pre-emptive note: I knew this would be long, but I didn’t know how long. If I had, I would’ve started posting Tuesday. As things stand I am breaking it up into four parts and posting the final two on Saturday and Sunday; something I rarely do. There’s just no other way to get it done and I really don’t want to put up a 12,000-plus word post. And I’m pretty sure you don’t want me to.
Part 3 (Continued from yesterday)
Speaking of Tyrion, he is having a bad time. It isn’t clear how long he’s been stuck in the Sky Cell, but I wouldn’t want to spend even an hour in one. He finally convinces the guard to grant him an audience with Lysa in exchange for all of the gold he had on his person when he was arrested. “Lannisters always pay their debts” is apparently a literal saying in Westeros, as the guard complies and brings Tyrion before the crazy lady.
She’s ready to pronounce him guilty and throw him into a big hole in the middle of the throne room, but Tyrion suggests he prove his innocence through trial by combat. This draws the expected reaction from the crowd given Tyrion’s size (have I even mentioned that Tyrion is a little person? I sure hope so). But Tyrion is wise and knows that he can choose a champion to represent him.