Monday, October 24, 2011

31 Days of Halloween Day 16: Spooky Toy Review – Universal Monsters Retro Cloth: Frankenstein By Diamond Select Toys

It’s Franken-time!
Okay, let’s just put that on the list of things I’m never going to say again; along with “That’s Phantom-tastic!” and “Word up!”.
If I was only going to buy one of these new Retro Cloth figures, Frankenstein’s Monster was a safe bet to be it. Out of the four characters currently available – this one, the Mummy, Wolf Man, and Dracula – the Mummy is actually my favorite, but let’s be honest. He’s not very visually exciting. Frankenstein’s Monster, on the other hand, is one of the most iconic monsters in all of horror.

Note: I just had to take a break here to mention that the guy I work with is beyond a shadow of a doubt the biggest jackass I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. I’ve been on shift with him for three years straight and now that our 2012 work schedule is posted see that I have another year to look forward to. The only reason he ever opens his mouth is if he sees an opportunity to be an irritating prick and he sees that opportunity often. He has straight-up admitted to me that he tries to be as annoying as he can be to everybody in the room and cannot help himself. And he is very good at what he does.
I mention this to you good people now because if I don’t let it out somewhere I am going to strangle him and while that would make me the most popular person in my workplace it likely wouldn’t sit too well with management. I mean, they’d appreciate it, but they’d definitely have to fire me.

First Glance: He looks a bit taller than the other figures. And he looks great upon initial inspection. Is it just easier to do a good Frankenstein’s Monster than it is any other monster?
Sculpt: The Monster has a unique head and hands. Much like Wolf Man, this head would work just as well on one of your more detailed standard action figures. It has a nice Karloff likeness and the lack of expression that I prefer on my Franks. The hands are nice, but not overly detailed. They look fine and are sculpted in a solid position suitable for grasping or simply shambling.
The body is the basic Emcee style. Well articulated and able to be posed in almost as many ways as you might want, particularly for Frankenstein’s Monster.
Design: The clothes are exactly what they need to be – simple. He comes with a jacket, pants, undershirt and boots. The cloth portions are colored and sewn very well. The fabric use is also very nice – no cheap, thin stuff here.
The boots are unique to this figure and thanks to the thicker soles make him taller than your other Retro series figures.
Accessories: None. But none are necessary.
Packaging: (I know that's the wrong cardback, but I can't find my pics of Frankenstein's Monster and the Wolf Man anywhere)
 These Universal Monsters come in the same packaging as the Star Trek Retro Cloth figures. It’s a perforated plastic shell over a cardboard backer. You have to cut the edges of the shell to get the figure open, but the shell is resealable. I would like it more if there were stickers or something holding the shell together and it did not require cutting. Once you cut the edges it leaves them sharp and they will cut you rather easily. I admire the intention with this method, but the execution leaves something to be desired.
Overall: DST has once again scored with this big guy. I can’t imagine any fan of monsters passing this one up, and they shouldn’t. Excellent job that can be admired for its quality while it still evokes nostalgia.
5 out of 5
You should be able to buy Frankenstein’s Monster pretty much anywhere that specializes in toys. Not Target or Walmart, but anywhere else. He’s a great deal for twenty bucks and gets my full recommendation as an essential addition to your toy collection.
Scareglow – “No, no – I’ll wait until you’re done.”
Frankenstein’s Monster – “Buh-riiiiide”
Scareglow – “Yes – she is lovely! And naked!”
Frankenstein’s Monster – “Japaaaaan”
Scareglow – “I thought she looked Asian.”
Scareglow: “Very good! Hello Mr… um… sir. My name is Karak Nul and I’d like to talk to you about an exciting new opportunity in the area of professional villainy!”
Frankenstein’s Monster – “Wooolf”
Scareglow: “Oh, Mr. Talbot already spoke to you? I didn’t realize you two had met.”


Scareglow: “Thanks for that.”
Scareglow: “Well, what do you think? We need a fellow of your size for everything to go smoothly. We simply can’t make this happen without you!”
Frankenstein’s Monster: “Innn”
Scareglow: “Excellent! Please meet the rest of the team here one hour before noon on the thirty-first. I’ll provide gear and transport. Two more to go!”

31 Days of Halloween vs. 31 Days of Halloween!
10:30 AM – 2:30 PM – Stephen King’s The Langoliers - I didn’t much care for the novella other than its tenuous Dark Tower connections. I detest the mini-series. Why does nobody ever show The Night Flier? That was awesome! Fucking Miguel Ferrer, man.
Halloween score – 2
Quality score – 1

2:30 PM – 5:00 PM – End of Days – If it actually were the End of Days we wouldn't have to watch crappy movies like this any more.
Halloween score – 2
Quality score – 1
5:00 PM – 7:00 PM – Haunting In Connecticut – This wasn't bad, but it wasn't good enough to warrant as many showings as SyFy is giving it.
Halloween score – 4
Quality score – 3
7:00 PM – 11:00 PM – Scare Tactics – Okay, this is to make up for forgetting to put these in the other day. I love Tracy Morgan but I hate this show.
Halloween score – 4
Quality score – 1
11:00 PM – 12:00 AM – Urban Legends
Halloween score – 3
Quality score – 3
12:00 AM – 1:00 AM – Scare Tactics
Halloween score – 4
Quality score – 1
1:00 AM – 2:00 AM – Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files
Halloween score – 3
Quality score – 3
2:00 AM – 3:00 AM – Ghost Hunters International
Halloween score – 5
Quality score - 1
3:00 AM – 4:00 AM – Masters of Horror: Dance of the Dead – Tobe Hooper directed this and it is awful.
Halloween score – 4
Quality score – 1
4:00 AM – 8:00 AM – Paid Programming
Halloween score – 0
Quality score – 0
8:00 AM – 11:00 AM – Being Human – Mrs. Troublemaker loves this show. I think it's pretty good too, but I can't tolerate the douchey music. She swears it goes with the on-screen happenings but I can't listen long enough to verify.
Halloween score – 4
Quality score – 4

Until next time, stay creepy
-Phantom

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