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Monday, June 6, 2011

Toy Review – Masters of the Universe Classics: She-Ra – Princess of Power By Mattel

Yes. I bought a girl toy. Sue me.
If you think I’m not going to have a Princess of Power to ride that big, gay Pegasus I’m going to end up with before the end of the year then you’re out of your mind. And don’t think I won’t be hanging them from the ceiling, too.
I know they’ve already scheduled a new version of She-Ra - that will apparently be better equipped to ride the aforementioned gay flying horse - for the end of the year; but according to the evil goblin that runs Matty you will need both of these figures to make the “perfect” She-Ra. And lord knows if I’m gonna own girl toys, they’re gonna be “perfect” dagnabbit (I’m working on non-offensive cursing – we have a road trip soon and I don’t want to be introducing Lil’ Troublemaker to profanity any sooner than need be). I’ll give whatever permutation of parts that make up the leftover Princess of Partial Perfection to Mrs. Troublemaker. She won’t care and will think it’s neat either way.
What this all meant was that for the first time in many months I was sitting at the computer waiting for a Matty sale to start. I figured I was going to be in for a pretty brutal experience. Not only was this She-Ra getting reissued; Catra and Green Man were going up and Matty was selling the second wave of Green Lantern Classics. There were some other things too, but I didn’t think they’d exactly be doing the hotcake routine. In short, I knew the next hour was going to irritate the fudging poop out of me.

I was done in five minutes. Seriously. I can’t remember the last time “flabbergasted” was a word that applied to me, but it did on May 16th.
I saw the wait screen maybe twice, put Catra and Green Man in my cart and checked right out. It was unbelievable.
By the way – you should go buy Green Man. He’s still available as I write this and he is awesome. I’m holding the review back for the week of June 17th, but just take my word for it now. He’s great.
Naturally since the actual purchasing process went so smoothly, the shipping process was what pissed me off.
Matty is using some new – surprise! – shitty and obscure shipper to handle orders larger than one figure. This shipper delivers it to your local post office and they then deliver it to you at their convenience. Every other thing I have ever ordered from Matty has taken eight (calendar, not business) days to arrive. She-Ra and Green Man took eleven. I know that may not seem like a huge deal, but when you’re excitedly awaiting a big, green frog to put on the shelf with Hal Jordan, Fish Lantern, Chicken Lantern, Purple Roach Lantern and Turtle Lantern three extra days is a fudging eternity. Plus, the tracking for this method stops when it is delivered to USPS, so there is no delivery estimate or updates after that. The extra three days were the time that elapsed between when the package was delivered to USPS and when it got to me. And our post office is less than three minutes away.
Way to go, Mattycollector. You still fudging stink.
On the bright side, the She-Ra figure is pretty cool and presented me with the most disgusting thing I have ever found involving an action figure. Money can’t buy anecdotal material like that. I originally tacked this little story onto the end of this post, but it gave me enough to warrant a whole new post for tomorrow. So if you’re curious, be sure to come back. It must be good for me to devote two days to a girl toy. Either that or I’m really running low on ideas…
First Glance: The “Princess of Power” sticker on the front of the box reminds that Bow had the same sticker and that makes me laugh all over again. She-Ra looks neat-o, but the mask she is wearing in the package looks stupid turned that way. Luckily you can change it and she even has an extra head.
Sculpt: I had no idea She-Ra had the same boots as Catra. And I am thrilled. The only thing that could have made those red cowboy boots better is if they were gold. And now they are. Please tell me glitter is next.
Actually, She-Ra shares all of her body parts with Catra, save her left hand. It’s okay because it works. For some reason I was thinking the Princess of Power had funky boots like Evil-Lynn, but I was wrong. So the Princess of Power naturally has the standard MOTUC articulation and can be posed pretty much however you like. Mine didn’t have any stuck joints, but her knees were pretty loose.
Her dress is a completely separate piece and looks very good. The detailing on the front is cool and brings a lot of personality to the figure.
She-Ra comes packed with two heads and they’re both pretty great. The faces are identical except for the head with the removable mask. That one has a big, ugly square hole smack in the middle of its forehead. So if you want a She-Ra with no cranial adornments, you are poop out of luck. This was a big deal to some folks, but I don’t mind. I like my ladies with wacky things on their heads. The face looks very good and is distinctive. I think it would be easy to make the female faces look too similar in this line, but so far they all have an amazing amount of character for action figures based on cartoons. Both heads have the same hair mold and it looks really good. Again, I’m glad Mattel went with plastic rather than rooted hair. The sparkly mask fits on the hole head and can be a tiara thing or a mask, fitting well either way. It does look extremely stupid as a tiara thing, though. The head with the tiara molded on looks much better if that’s the look you want, but to me that one is a fail because the tiara is lacking the completely insane and super-80’s sparkly sticker that I hope to God never peels off.
Design: Don’t think I feel good about having to comment about the makeup on action figures. But I have to.
She-Ra’s makeup is much softer and subtle than Catra’s, as it should be. Her hair appears full and lustrous, with highlights blended in to give it a lifelike appearance.
Well, darn. I think my penis just fell off.
The paint apps are all solid, with the usual attention to detail that only becomes apparent once you see one of these Mattel figures in person. This figure did present me with the first real paint problem I’ve had with MOTUC. The left boot has a smudgy error on it. If I were pickier I’d be returning the figure, but once I put it on the shelf I barely noticed it, so whatever. Still, an error is an error. And on a twenty dollar action figure it seems a little more significant.
Accessories: Mattel really packs its ladies with accessories. Princess Adora’s alter ego comes with her Power Sword, a shield, a cape, an extra head, the mask/tiara sparkly thing and a comb/hatchet combo (I’m assuming).
She-Ra’s sword is waaay batter than Catra’s. It’s made out of a sturdier plastic and was only a little deformed from the way it was packed (believe me, this is a MASSIVE accomplishment for a Mattel toy). The gem in the hilt looks good and is solidly attached. The shield’s gem is the same. The deco on both items is solid and they fit on the figure the way they should. The comb/hatchet thing is neat enough, but there’s no getting around the fact that it looks like a comb.
She-Ra’s cape is detailed nicely and the sculpt is such that you can move it around and it doesn’t interfere with the figure’s movement.
Both heads look great and are easy enough to switch out. It takes a little extra pushing to get the head with the permanent tiara on, but if you’re careful it’s fine.
Packaging: The standard Masters of the Universe Classics packaging. It looks nice, makes the figures look even bigger than they are. You also get a bio on the back that is sort of a composite of each character’s history.
Overall: I’m going to go ahead and recommend this one. It is a very good figure that fits in well with the rest of my MOTUC shelf. She-Ra isn’t nearly as girly as I first thought if you just take that comb away from her. And that glittery mask thing is AWESOME. My only complaint is that paint smudge on the boot. Well, that and this one apparently isn’t the “perfect” Princess of Power. Why not? Did Mattel forget what she looked like or something? Did they forget about the flying horse? Regardless of any “improvements” coming later this year, this She-Ra gets a
4 out of 5
She’s once again sold out on Matty, but you can go and pay a premium on BigBadToyStore. I’m not sure you should pay what they’re asking when there’s another one coming out later in the year, but if you want this “perfection” that the ToyGoblin speaks of you had better go and get it.
Until next time, stay creepy
-Phantom


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