Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Toy Review: DC Universe Classics Walmart Exclusive Undersea Assault: Aquaman & Black Manta by Mattel

d happen to those fuckers.
Walmart has two exclusive DC Classics two-packs right now. The problem is that I only want one figure from each set and I’m not one of those douchebags who will swap figures out and return things. Those people should have their thumbs cut off. And yet I still don’t hate them as much as I do scalpers. You don’t even want to know what I think should happen to those fuckers.


But I’m going to tell you anyway. I’ve run into scalpers on the way home from work in the mornings. They hit up Walmarts at around six in the morning because that’s generally when Walmart has their new stock out. They are huge pussies, and if you confront them, they will do one of two things (in my experience): 1)they will let you raid their cart full of entire cases of whatever the hot toys are, claiming the whole time that they’re buying it for a friend – despite the fact that they have multiples of everything; or 2) they will take off, leaving their cart there and go hide in the automotive section until you leave the toy aisle. I took everything out of this guy’s cart and put it back. I think these people should be tied down and every item in their cart should be inserted in their ass by Walmart’s least socially competent stockboy. Then they should be allowed to pay and take their items home to attempt to resell. Good luck with that, fuckers.

Sorry for that. I just really fucking hate those people. They are the reason I can’t find most of the last wave of Star Wars figures. I haven’t seen even one figure in stores because they are just buying entire cases to sell on eBay.

Anyway, the sets are the one I’m reviewing today – Aquaman & Black Manta – and a Batman & Robin set, which I haven’t found yet. I only want Aquaman and Robin. I already have the best Batman Mattel has made in the original DC Superheroes version; you know, the one that looks like Norm Breyfogle’s Dark Knight. And I don’t really give a shit about Black Manta. 
 

First Glance: That Aquaman is just awesome. His colors are super bright and powerful. This looks like a more realistic interpretation of the Brave & the Bold cartoon Arthur Curry. I don’t know why Black Manta is blue, but it does look kind of cool. I am assuming these are both simple repaints of earlier releases, but since I don’t have those I’m not sure.

Sculpt: Both figures are designed with Mattel’s “Our 6-inch articulation kicks the shit out of your 6-inch articulation” articulation. 
 

Black Manta looks as good as Black Manta could look. He’s basically a generic body with the crazy steel clam head and a backpack. The head does have a lot of nice detail and actually sits on top of a ball-jointed neck, so it is more poseable than it could have been. The little air hoses and the backpack they are connected to look fine.


This Aquaman just really impresses me for some reason. Sculpt-wise he has all kinds of nice stuff, from the way his gloves flair to the fins on his calves to the great scale detail on his shirt. The face sculpt is perfect – very noble and friendly-looking. 
 

Design: The paint job on this Aquaman is fantastic. His face and hair are detailed perfectly, but his costume is what really stands out. The metallic bronze used for his shirt looks great, and the vibrant, glossy green on his pants and gloves contrast with that and just really make this figure stand out. This is one of my favorite paint apps on a DCUC figure.


Black Manta turned out to be awesome for a different reason. I like the color change, but it is the texture of the paint that is so outstanding. Mattel used some sort of rubberized formula on him, which means this guy feels like he’s wearing a wetsuit. It’s very impressive. I don’t know if the original had this ingenious feature or not, but it has totally won me over on a figure that I honestly might have given away otherwise.


Accessories: Like most DCUC two-packs there’s not much to speak of here. Aquaman has his signature trident and Manta has his two-pronged pistol (which may be suffering from package warp - should it be bent like that?). They both look like they should look. It would be nice if Mattel could have thrown in a dolphin or something.


Packaging: Plain old DC Universe two-pack with origins printed on the back. Nothing special, but it didn’t need to be.


 Overall: For a set that I was only mildly excited about, this one turned out to be a real winner. It gets a whole extra point just for being two of the simplest yet most impressive repaints I’ve seen.

5 out of 5

These are still popping up at Walmart and I have yet to see them online. Rest assured, though, that if you wait for them on the secondary market you’ll pay those fuckers twice as much. Go ahead and buy these now if you see them – unless you’re an Aquaman hater; which is perfectly understandable. Particularly after that craptastic X-BOX game.


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