Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Vintage Troublemaker - A Funny Thing Happened At The Club

This is another old post recounting my adventures while working at the Masquerade in Atlanta. I probably need to do some more. This one is brief, but fun.

I used to work security at a night club downtown called the Masquerade. A lot of things happened in the two years or so that I worked there. Some of them were funny, some were not. I remember some more clearly than I remember others, for various reasons, most of which involve alcohol or another, less liquid substance that makes you hungry. Hopefully committing these memories to print will stimulate the 'ol hat rack enough to recall more.

This one isn't nearly as long as the first one. I promise.

Working security in the club was referred to as "roaming". You would find out where you were roaming when you got to work. You would either be upstairs in "Heaven", where the bands played, or downstairs in "Hell" and "Purgatory", where DJs played and there was a separate bar, respectively. You might also be taking money in the "secure" (HAHAHAHA) parking lot or checking IDs at the door. I think roaming Heaven was the best. Some guys liked Hell because supposedly the pussy flowed like water, but it never worked out that way for me. Maybe because I wasn't a scumbag. Or maybe because I had no game. Yeah, it was probably the lack of game.

Anyway, one night I was roaming Heaven for a Bad Religion show. Now, I really like Bad Religion. They are one of the best punk bands out there, and the fact that the singer is a nuclear biology pharmacologist or whatever is really cool. Fuck the system from within or something. Those guys were rocking socks off that night, let me tell you. They played all the hits and then some. They almost seemed too good to be punk. Then, towards the end of their set, Greg Graffin – aforementioned paleobotanical phlegmotologist or whatever – pauses in the midst of rocking, drinks from a bottled water, and says "You know, you kids out there with your bottled water and your water from that bar over there should know that there are children in (insert shitbag third-world country here) who don't even have fresh water to drink." Then they played "Do What You Want". What a douche.

-Phantom

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